I am a creature of habit. Since everybody always tells me I was born middle-aged, it only serves to reason that by now I am practically elderly. That's why I don't like change very much.
I have ALWAYS gone in to the bank to do all of my transactions. I knew about the drive-through teller, but never really thought about why it was there. I liked to go inside and talk to the tellers face-to-face...at least that's how I reasoned it to myself.
About a week ago, I was running errands with my boys and going to the bank to cash a check was on my list of things to accomplish. I had already made two other stops, which translates to five separate instances of loading my two children in or out of the car. I was tired of the charade and just wanted to cash my freaking check and go home. I was hungry. And as a nursing mother, when I get hungry I get REALLY hungry.
That's when I had the epiphany...the drive-through teller!!! I could do that, right? I mean, they can cash checks in the drive-through right?!?! It was like Christmas morning and I was seven years old again. That's how excited I was as I zipped through the parking lot and headed into the aisle closest to the actual building. At least then I could still see the teller and get my face-to-face interaction.
Me: Hi!!!
Teller: Hi there, how can I help you?
Me: I'm here to cash a check. Can I have a pe... Oh, you already put one in there, thanks! (I sign my check and throw my card in the little box with it, grinning the whole time...so this is what I've been missing my whole life, I'm an idiot!).
Teller: I'll be right back.
Me: Sweet, thanks! (I turn up my music, glance back at my children whom I didn't have to deal with, and start bopping my head and singing)
Teller: Uuumm, I'm sorry ma'am but this is a credit card, you don't have a checking account with us anymore.
Me: Yeah, I know. And?
Teller: Well, we can't cash this check here if you don't have a checking account with us.
Me: But I still have some credit card accounts with you guys, doesn't that count?
Teller: I'm sorry but we can't cash the check because we have no security if it doesn't go through. We can open a checking account for you right now, though, if you'd like!
Me: No. I had a checking account but now that I don't have a job and don't have direct deposit, I am too cheap to pay the fees for the checking account.
Teller: I'm sorry, then, I can't help you.
Me: Well, how am I supposed to cash this check then?
Teller: You will have to go to the bank where the check was drawn from.
Me: And what the heck bank is that?
Teller: Looks like Citibank.
Me: Where is a Citibank?
Teller: (looking annoyed) I don't know.
Me: Well fine then. I guess I'll just go back home to look it up.
Teller: If you don't have a checking account, how do you pay your bills?
Me: My husband does of course.
Teller: Oh.
And that's when it dawns on me. I am a total loser. Teller chicky thinks I am pathetic and I can see it in her face. She looks to be about my age and she is dressed up and has a nice job and I don't even have a checking account.
I take a moment contemplating whether I should explain myself to her. I could tell her that I am a stay at home mom and I will have a checking account again just as soon as my husband and I get a chance to come into the bank together and have him add me to his. I should tell her that I went to college and even got a degree. I could even tell her that I have nice clothes...at home in the closet...that never see the light of day. I want her to like me, it's in my nature. It bothers me when people don't like me.
Sigh, what has become of me?
Me: Alright, well thanks for your help anyways! (sound of screeching tires)
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4 comments:
OH JAQ! I know how you feel! I USED to be that bank teller! it's a lame rule...! Now I'm just like YOU! I have no checking count either! Well I do with Desert Schools, but they have no drive thrus! I HATE taking the kids out of the car!
Get your hubby to add you to his acct so you can partake in the drive thru! :)
TELLER CHICKIE! I Love you sister!
LOVE drive through banking! It's awesome! Hate not being helped by banks though... I had to drive all over town to get my insurance check from my car cashed. If I was that teller lady I would think "Man, I was I was her. Look at those adorable kids. Uh, she gets to stay home?! How luck. I'm stuck at this stupid job that doesn't even require a degree...."
Anyway to reply to your comment on Vday:
Yes! I made a huge Valentine cookie in foods class LOL That was really fun =) We didn't even watch the "love" movie we rented haha
I drive through anything that has a drive thru! I actually have a secondary checking account with Chase and I hadn't used it in months so when I went in on a Sunday to cash our tax return check they told me that it had closed. It took him like 5 minutes to open it back up for me so he could cash my check. No fees or anything, but it could be because my mortgage is with Chase so it gives me some kind of special account with them. Anyway, I was really impressed with them and I'm a credit union member at Tempe Schools so I'm like way against regular banks usually.
Anyway, you crack me up! Desperate Housewife :)
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