A few months ago I was at the grocery store (Fry's to be exact) doing my normal Sunday grocery shopping. I had made my run through the store, loaded up my cart and pulled into one of the check-out aisles where I could see that there was a nice youngish man working the cash register. I frantically threw all my groceries onto the conveyor belt, since, you see, I am always in a hurry at this point because I am obsessed with making sure every item in my cart rings up correctly. My mind is also spinning becasue as I keep my eye on the display, checking each and every price, I am simultaneously rummaging through my coupons, looking for my credit card, and throwing my paper bags up there for the bag-boy to use. I hesitantly tell the cashier, who I've by now noticed has the same name as my husband, that I brought my own bags back in to be re-used. To my dismay, he looks at my bags, rolls his eyes (just a little bit, though...not enough for everybody to really notice, but enough for me to catch the distain he feels for me at that moment). I think to myself that he really isn't going to be happy with me when I remind him that I need a .05 cent discount for every bag I brought back to the store with me, because I know he is going to overlook it...they all do...jerks. Sure enough, as I politely remind him in a squeaky voice to please give me my discount, he pauses and looks at me for a second, and then hastily jabs his fingers on the screen 4 times. Now, instead of being offended that he is being so rude to me, I feel a deep sense of hurt inside that he doesn't like me. Why should I care what he thinks of me? Why does it bother me so much that this stranger thinks I'm an annoying granola-lady? I really don't know why it bothers me, but it does. I have this deep-rooted sense of wanting everybody to like me. I have purposely gone through his aisle a few times since then, just to get a feel of whether he remembers me and dislikes me!
I can remember another very vivid example of this. One of my really good friends was dating this guy a few years back. He was actually a co-worker of my husbands and I had met him a few times before he was introduced to my friend. I wasn't very fond of him and thought he was a total womanizer. Well, needless to say they started dating. I tried my hardest to be accepting of him at first because she seemed to like him. Then one day, it all came to a head. He showed up 30 minutes late to her birthday dinner, flirted with another friend of ours the whole time, and then made fat jokes about my other pregnant friend. Gosh, I hated his guts. So he and I got into an e-mail war the following day (I know, real mature). We really laid it out on the table and said awful things to each other. It was ugly. We eventually apologized to each other and they broke up (thank god!). But to this day, even though I think he is one of the biggest idiots on the planet, it still bothers me to think that if ever he remembers me, he probably hates my guts. Ok, so it doesn't bother me a lot, but still...
I have issues.
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2 comments:
LOL, Gee, whatever ex boyfriend could you be talking about? haha. Yeah we all hate him now :) I do know what you mean though about wanting people to like you. I'm the same way. Like why would I care that this dumb lady at work thinks I shouldn't have gotten this job or whether or not she likes the way I do things?..but unfortunately, I do.
Personally, I think it's just because we want to be loved! By all, of course! I mean, I think I'm pretty darn lovable! haha. Anyway, just remember that it is absolutely impossible to please everyone. Try spending that energy on the ones that do matter :) I'd say that you are pretty good at that already.
The good news is that is gets better with age...you worry less and less about what people that aren't important in your life think.
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